


Put Me Back Together Again

by libidineux



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Suh Youngho | Johnny, M/M, Not beta'd we die like men, Porn With Plot, Top Moon Taeil, open ending sort of?, you get to decide what happens between them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:55:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23997877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libidineux/pseuds/libidineux
Summary: Friends with benefits was never going to stay just friends, was it?
Relationships: Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	Put Me Back Together Again

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first time i've ever written something like this so ahhhh i hope it doesn't suck too much

“Don’t text him,” Taeyong rolled his eyes.

“Why not?” Taeil shrugged, “It’s been a stressful day and he’s always more than eager to let me get out my stress.”

“Precisely,” Taeyong nodded, “If he’s that eager there’s probably something deeper there. Something you don’t want to commit to.”

“You’re wrong. Johnny knows our boundaries, he would never do something that stupid. He agrees so eagerly because he likes it too. That’s all.”

“If you say so,” Taeyong sighed.

“Don’t wait up for me,” Taeil texted Johnny before putting on his shoes, “I’ll be back well after four in the morning.”

Johnny quickly told Taeil that he could come over. As much as it was tearing him apart, he couldn’t help but accept Taeil as quickly as he could. At least Taeil found him beautiful, even if he would never love him the way Johnny loves Taeil. He needed Taeil to give him attention; he needed Taeil to take him apart and put him back together again; he needed Taeil to at least give him something so he didn’t feel so rejected.

Johnny took a deep breath when he heard Taeil’s special knock. He heard Yuta in his head telling him how awful it was to keep doing this to himself, but he couldn’t help it. He needed it, more than he needed to breath. 

Johnny opened the door to see Taeil in a leather jacket, a black shirt, and black jeans, his dyed blond hair a complete contrast to his dark outfit. Johnny took a sharp inhale, Taeil truly was stunning. 

“Hello,” Johnny nodded, “How are you? Have you eaten?”

“Let’s skip the niceties, we can have them after, I promise you,” Taeil took off his jacket, “I’ve had a rough day. You know what I’m here for.”

“Right,” Johnny smiled tightly, “How do you want me?”

“However you want to be,” Taeil told him.

“You’re the one who had a bad day,” Johnny raised an eyebrow.

“Still,” Taeil stepped closer to Johnny, putting his hands on his waist, “I’m not just using you for my own pleasure, this is about you too. You deserve to be comfortable. I want us both to find pleasure in each other.”

Johnny felt his heart speed up. He wasn’t sure if it was because Taeil was touching him or because of his words; maybe both. 

Taeil walked his hand up Johnny’s side, finally cupping the back of his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. It was rushed, passionate, full of fire. Johnny kissed back eagerly. Taeil pulled away, only to leave a kitten lick on Johnny’s bottom lip. Johnny immediately opened his mouth. Taeil smiled, he loved how Johnny was so good at following his orders, even the non-verbal ones. Taeil began kissing him again, his tongue immediately taking dominance. He loved the way Johnny’s mouth tasted, it was always so sweet. 

Johnny whined into the kiss, his hands roaming Taeil’s chest. 

“So needy,” Taeil smirked, “What do you want, baby?”

“You,” Johnny whimpered.

“Johnny,” Taeil put some more assertiveness in his voice, trying to ground him, “You already have me, tell me exactly you want in this moment. What do you want me to do right now?”

Johnny started to take off his shirt. 

“Do you want me to do it for you, or do you want me to follow suit?” Taeil asked. 

“Do the same,” Johnny told him. 

Taeil smiled, taking off his own shirt. “You’re so pretty,” Taeil ran his hands up Johnny’s abs, to his pecs, to finally the sides of his face. 

Johnny turned a bright shade of red. 

“Can you take off your pants for me and lay down on the bed?” Taeil asked. 

Johnny nodded, quickly removing his pants and laid down on his back.

“You listen so well,” Taeil praised him.

Taeil moved gracefully, holding himself up over Johnny, placing sweet kisses down Johnny’s neck. Johnny whined as Taeil sucked a mark next Johnny’s collarbone. Taeil worked his leg in between Johnny’s, grinding down in a perfect rhythm. Taeil smirked at how quickly Johnny grew in his own boxers as he squirmed, the restriction becoming almost uncomfortable. Johnny began to move his own hips, rutting against Taeil’s thigh, breaking Taeil’s rhythm. 

Taeil gripped Johnny’s hips, holding him in place. Taeil clicked his tongue, shaking his head, “Now, now, you know better. You will take what I give when I give it. Behave. I would hate to make you regret not listening to me.”

“Taeil,” Johnny breathed out. 

“Yes, baby?” Taeil grinned. 

“Please,” Johnny’s voice was barely a whisper. 

“Please what?” Taeil asked, moving his thigh against Johnny’s cock, where a wet spot was already on his boxers. 

“Please,” Johnny squirmed in Taeil’s grip.

“Johnny,” Taeil stopped moving, “Focus. Use your words. Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Johnny breathed out. 

“Okay good, very good. Now, please what?” Taeil tried again. 

“I need you, inside me, now,” Johnny answered.

“What happened to your manners?” Taeil asked.

“Please, Taeil, I need you inside of me, please,” Johnny begged. 

“As you wish,” Taeil stepped off the bed, removing his pants and boxers, “Lift your hips for me.”

Johnny did as he was told.

Taeil slowly took off Johnny’s boxers, relishing in the way his cock hit his stomach when it was free from its confines. 

Taeil’s eyes widened at the pink jewel that was peeking out from Johnny’s hole.

“You said you had a meeting today,” Johnny explained, “I figured you would find your way here sooner or later.” 

“Well,” Taeil said, “since you took away one of my favorite parts of getting to see the way you fall apart just from my fingers, why don’t get on the floor, on your knees, and remind me how beautiful you are falling apart as you choke on my cock, hm?”

Johnny was already salivating as he scrambled quickly to the floor, dropping to his knees in between Taeil’s legs. 

Johnny waited patiently, knowing he wasn’t to move until Taeil gave the okay. He was shaking in anticipation, hoping Taeil would let him soon. 

“Go on, baby, you’ve earned it,” Taeil pet Johnny’s hair.

Johnny swallowed as much of Taeil’s cock as he could, but he needed to work himself up to being able to take the entire thing. 

“You’re doing so well, baby,” Taeil tangled his fingers in Johnny’s hair.

Johnny loved the weight of Taeil’s cock on his tongue, and loved the way it tasted. He worked to relax his throat and finally his nose hit Taeil’s groin. He heard Taeil groan and that fueled him more, he bobbed his head back and forth, his tongue moving around and stimulating Taeil even more. Taeil’s grip tightened. 

Johnny tapped on Taeil’s hip. Taeil immediately let go and let Johnny pull away. “What’s wrong?” Taeil asked.

“Fuck my mouth, please,” Johnny asked nicely.

“As you wish,” Taeil smiled.

Taeil put both of his hands on the back of Johnny’s head, tangling his fingers in his hair once more. Johnny whined at the feeling, he loved when Taeil took total control. Johnny opened his mouth, and relaxed his throat the best he could. Taeil gently entered Johnny’s mouth again, letting him get used to it again. When Johnny started getting eager, trying to move on his own, Taeil tutted his tongue. 

Taeil began thrusting down Johnny’s throat at a hard and fast pace. Johnny was gagging, and he was choking but it felt good, even if that sound was wet and kind of gross, Johnny loved it. He loved the feeling of Taeil hitting the back of his throat. He felt the tears pricking in the corner of his eyes. Johnny moaned, the vibrations going straight to Taeil’s cock. Taeil threw his head back, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. 

Taeil pulled Johnny off of him. Johnny whined trying to chase after it. “Nuh uh, baby, I still have something planned for you. Get on all fours on the bed.”

Johnny immediately followed his instructions. 

Taeil crawled on the bed behind him, sitting on his knees. He grasped Johnny’s butt in his hands, pulling his cheeks apart, staring at the pretty pink jewel accenting Johnny’s hole. “You look so pretty for me, displayed like this,” Taeil’s voice was low.

Johnny keened at Taeil’s words.

Taeil grabbed the end of the plug and began teasing Johnny’s hole with it, pulling it out to the thickest part of the plug, leaving it stretching Johnny’s hole before shoving it back in. Johnny couldn’t hold the whine from escaping his lips. 

“Please, Taeil, I need you inside of me,” Johnny begged, his arms shaking as he tried to hold himself up. 

“Okay, baby,” Taeil pulled the plug out completely.

Taeil watched Johnny’s hole clench and unclench around nothing. Taeil left small kisses on Johnny’s lower back, that left shivers down Johnny’s spine, as Taeil put on a condom on. He generously covered his cock with lube before slowly pushing into Johnny’s waiting hole. Johnny moaned, his hands gripping the sheets tighter. Taeil always made him feel so full, he loved it. 

Taeil kept pushing gently into Johnny’s hole until his entire cock was fully inside. Johnny took a deep, shuddering breath. Taeil rubbed Johnny’s hips, “Relax, baby, take some deep breaths for me. Take your time.”

Johnny nodded, taking deep breaths until it evened out and wasn’t so shaky. “I’m ready,” Johnny said, “Please move.”

“Good boy,” Taeil left a light smack on Johnny’s butt, more to tease him than reprimand him. 

Johnny jumped forward, his body already sensitive. 

Taeil gripped Johnny’s hips tightly, “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Yes,” Johnny practically cried out in complete desperation, “You don’t have to be gentle with me either, I’m not going to break.”

Taeil smirked, pulling out until only the tip was still in before slamming back into him with everything he had. Johnny moaned, his body practically being pushed further up the bed. 

“Faster,” Johnny was breathless. 

Taeil immediately complied. He slammed into Johnny hard and fast, brushing against Johnny’s prostate with every thrust. Johnny let out a long and repetitive, but staccato string of whines and whimpers. Taeil revered in the sounds that only he could pull from Johnny.

Johnny’s body felt like it was on fire. He could feel the tight coil in his stomach. When Taeil moved one hand to play with Johnny’s nipple, and the other hand to grip his cock, Johnny could feel himself about to tip over the edge. 

His whines got higher and his breathing faster. “Taeil, I’m about to come,” Johnny barely got the words out.

“It’s okay, baby, go ahead. You’ve been so good for me,” Taeil leaned forward to growl in his ear. 

Johnny felt himself completely let go, his vision went white as his whole body tensed. His cum stained the bed sheets underneath him. His entire body was buzzing and he felt like he was on Cloud Nine. It took him a while to come completely down from his high and when he got his senses back, he recognized the warm feeling in the condom that showed Taeil had finished with him. 

Taeil slowly pulled out of Johnny, which drew one more whimper out of Johnny, his body overly sensitive and the feeling of being empty weighing on him hard. He collapsed on his stomach, getting his breathing and heart rate settled. Taeil threw the condom in the trash, before massaging Johnny’s shoulders, leaving soft kisses up and down Johnny’s spine. Taeil flipped Johnny over onto his back, gently kissed Johnny on the lips.

“You did so well for me, baby, you’re such a good boy,” Taeil kissed him again, gently rubbing his hands all over Johnny’s body to comfort him, “How about we get us both cleaned up, I’ll get your sheets in the washer.”

Johnny nodded, letting Taeil help him to his feet and to the shower. After they got cleaned up, Taeil laid down with Johnny down on the bed, covering him with one of Johnny’s spare blankets. 

“How are you feeling?” Taeil asked calmly. 

“I feel wonderful,” Johnny smiled contently, “Do you feel better after the day you’ve had?”

“So much better, you always know how to make me feel so much better,” Taeil smiled. 

“Taeil,” Johnny cuddled into Taeil’s side, relishing in the feeling of Taeil holding him.

“What’s up?” Taeil asked. 

“I love you,” Johnny said quietly.

He felt Taeil tense up. “What?” Taeil asked. 

Johnny wished he could back out, but he already committed to it and he needed to get this out. “Taeil, I’m in love with you,” Johnny said more clearly. 

Taeil immediately hopped out of the bed, putting his clothes and shoes on. 

“Taeil,” Johnny grabbed his wrist. 

“Johnny,” Taeil ripped his arm away, “I told you that couldn’t happen. How could you do something that stupid? You knew from the very beginning what this was.”

“But-,” Johnny started.

“No buts,” Taeil put his jacket on, “We’re done here. Don’t call me next time you need me, and I’ll do the same. Delete my number, and I’ll do the same. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

Johnny felt the tears stinging his eyes. “Fine,” he said sharply, his throat burning, “Get out.”

Taeil quickly did, not even looking back. 

Johnny quickly collapsed on his bed, holding his blankets close. Soon his pillow was wet with his tears, his chest tight and on fire. He felt lonelier than ever before. 

Taeyong walked into the living room of their apartment, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “How the hell are you going to wake me up at four in the morning with all that door slamming?”

“We have one door,” Taeil said in a gruff voice.

“What’s gotten into you?” Taeyong asked. 

“Johnny told me he loved me,” Taeil snapped, “I am very unhappy.”

“What?” Taeyong gasped, more awake now. 

“Johnny fucking told me he loved me,” Taeil threw his jacket on the couch angrily, “I told him that was never going to happen, it was off limits, and he went and did it anyway.”

“I told you so,” Taeyong shrugged.

“Now is not the time,” Taeil huffed.

“So what’d you do?” Taeyong asked.

“I told him that I was leaving, that we were through, and we were never going to see or talk to each other ever again,” Taeil said pointedly. 

“That was stupid,” Taeyong rolled his eyes, “You really don’t feel anything for him at all?”

“Not even a little bit,” Taeil replied.

“Whatever,” Taeyong sighed, “I’m going back to bed.” 

“Okay,” Taeil replied as Taeyong turned around. 

“And one more thing,” Taeyong turned back around, “One day you’re going to have to face the consequences of your actions and realize how wrong you are about all of this, and I bet by then, it’ll already be too late. I hope you get it together before that happens.”

“Excuse me?” Taeil raised his voice. 

“I’m just saying,” Taeyong threw his hands up in defense, “Goodnight, Taeil.”

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Yuta clenched his teeth.

“No, don’t,” Johnny curled into himself, “It’s my fault. I knew it was only sex, no feelings, I knew that from the start and yet I still did it. It’s not Taeil’s fault that I fell in love with him.”

“He still shouldn’t have just walked out on you,” Yuta argued, “And a whole speech about deleting his number and never talking to him again, that was very drastic and rude.”

Johnny shrugged.

“What can I do to help?” Yuta held his hands and sat down next to him.

“Just be the best friend you’ve always been. It’s more than enough,” Johnny smiled weakly, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Yuta hugged him tightly. 

“How about we do something tomorrow?” Johnny suggested.

“Oh we’re doing something everyday. Lunch everyday in the dining hall, dinner every evening whether we go out, cook something, or just order in. We’re going to do it all. Me, you, Jaehyun, and Sicheng. We’re going to get the whole group together all the time, and just spend it as friends who love each other. We’ll go to a party every Friday, no hook-ups, just all of us enjoying our time together,” Yuta told him.

“That sounds amazing,” Johnny smiled even wider, “I love you all so very much. I’m so lucky to have you guys.”

“We’re all very lucky to have each other,” Yuta patted his hair. 

“Yes we most certainly are,” Johnny leaned on his shoulder.

“God, you look awful,” Taeyong commented when Taeil walked in the door.

“I’m fine,” Taeil huffed. 

“Clearly not,” Taeyong handed Taeil a mug of coffee, “It’s been a month and you’ve done nothing but spiral. You’re barely eating, you’re barely sleeping, your tests have been coming back with C’s rather than A’s.”

“So you’re going through my stuff, now?!” Taeil raised his voice. 

“I’m worried,” Taeyong folded his arms, “So yes, I did some digging to figure out just how worried I should be. I figured you would be taking this whole breaking it off with Johnny a lot less hard. I mean, he was the one who loved you, not the other way around.”

“Whatever,” Taeil rolled his eyes, “Let’s grab something to eat.”

As Taeil and Taeyong were walking down the sidewalk, Taeil stopped dead in his tracks. It took Taeyong a few more steps to realize Taeil wasn’t next to him anymore. “What’s your deal?” Taeyong turned around only to see Taeil staring into the distance.

Taeyong followed Taeil’s line of sight, to see him staring at Johnny who looked bright, healthy, and joyous. 

“Oh, he looks a lot better than you do,” Taeyong said. 

“Clearly,” Taeil said through clenched teeth, “He’s already got someone new. He obviously didn’t love me as much as he said.”

“Woah, slow down,” Taeyong laughed, “That’s his best friend, Jaehyun who is dating his other best friend Sicheng. But, who knows, Johnny may have been invited to join them, I know Yuta has been on more than occasion.”

“How do you know all that?” Taeil asked.

“I pay attention,” Taeyong told him, “Me and Johnny have had breakfast a couple of times since you wake up so late, so I at least try to extend him some hospitality before he has to rush out before you wake up.”

“I pay attention to him,” Taeil argued.

“No you don’t. You pay attention to his body, and how you make him feel, but you don’t pay attention to who his friends are, to what classes he’s taking, to how he loves his little brother more than anyone else in this world,” Taeyong told him.

“Whatever,” Taeil crossed his arms.

“Quit doing that,” Taeyong scolded him, “You have no right to be this upset and angry. You left him. You ditched him all because he said he loved you, and you, for some reason, refuse to let yourself be vulnerable and loved because of some issue which is probably unfounded, you just want to keep up your bad boy image, and that’s fine. What isn’t fine is you ditching Johnny, but then getting angry that he’s moving on with his life. That makes you an asshole.”

“I’m not angry,” Taeil said.

“I can feel the jealousy radiating off of you,” Taeyong told him, “You’re angry and upset. You either need to get over it or you figure out your own feelings.”

“I have no feelings,” Taeil said sharply.

“Then get over yourself,” Taeyong countered, “Simple as that.”

“He just texted me,” Johnny breathed out.

“What?” Yuta asked, “Why?”

“I don’t know, he just said he wanted to come over so we could talk,” Johnny replied.

“Are you going to let him?” Yuta raised his eyebrow, “It seems like a bad idea. I don’t want you to fall back into his trap.”

“I don’t know. I might. He said he just wanted to talk. I want to hear what he has to say, and I deserve an apology. I don’t care if he doesn’t love me back, but ditching me like that was really rude,” Johnny told him, “It might be good for closure.”

“If that’s what you think is best. Just be careful,” Yuta said, “And if you need anything don’t hesitate to call and I’ll be here in a heartbeat.”

“Thank you,” Johnny hugged him right before he texted Taeil to come over.

“Good luck,” Yuta smiled as he left.

Taeil was there faster than Johnny expected. 

“Hi,” Taeil smiled awkwardly from the doorway.

“Come in,” Johnny said softly, “You can have a seat at the table.”

Taeil nodded, sliding into the chair, his hands folded in his lap.

Johnny gave him a glass of water before taking his seat across from Taeil, “What did you want to want to talk about?”

“Us,” Taeil replied.

“There is no us,” Johnny snapped.

“What if I want there to be?” Taeil asked.

Johnny laughed coldly, “Are you fucking serious? You left me, and I remember not only did you leave but you left some pretty harsh words along with it. You made your stance very clear.”

“I know, I know, and I was stupid and wrong and I’m sorry,” Taeil looked down at his hands.

“If this is just some ploy to get me to sleep with you again, I’m not interested. I have enough self-respect to not come crawling back to you because you miss getting your dick wet,” Johnny folded his arms. 

“Johnny,” Taeil finally made eye contact with him for the first time that night, “I mean it. I really am sorry.”

“You should be,” Johnny told him, “I told Yuta I don’t care that you don’t love me but I deserve an apology for the way you treated me, and I deserve closure.”

“Johnny, please listen to me. I am sorry for the way I treated you, I was wrong and you have every right to be angry with me, but please just hear me out. I think I like you. It took me a while to realize it and a lot of introspection and reflection on who I am and why I am the way that I am. I know it’s been months since I left, so you probably don’t feel that way anymore. But I want to give us a shot,” Taeil sighed. 

“Are you serious?” Johnny asked.

Taeil nodded, “Very much so.”

“I don’t know,” Johnny frowned, “I lost trust in you. How do I know this isn’t a trick to sleep with me and then you’ll just leave again?”

“Can we go on a date?” Taeil asked. “You can even put me on like a sex ban for however long you feel necessary until you trust me again. Johnny I really think I like you. I want to go on dates with you, and maybe sometime in the future even be your boyfriend if you’d have me. This isn’t just about sex. I want to know about your friends, your family, your classes, what you do for fun, what makes you smile and laugh, what makes you stressed and how I can help you through that. I want to know you, Johnny, not just your body. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it.”

“And if you don’t like the Johnny you learn about?” Johnny asked.

“Then we end it with good closure,” Taeil told him, “Although I really do think I will like you a lot.”

Johnny nodded, “Okay. Okay I’ll go on a date with you.”

“Really?” Taeil smiled widely.

“Yes, really, I would like to,” Johnny smiled and nodded even more fervently.

“Thank you,” Taeil finally relaxed. 

“I will hold you to that sex ban thing though,” Johnny laughed. 

“I don’t care,” Taeil smiled, “Make it as long as you want, I just want an opportunity to love you the way you love me. I want to know you Johnny, I want to love you.”

Johnny gently held Taeil’s hand in his own, “I’ll escort you out. Text me when you want to meet up for that date. I’ll be looking forward to it.”

Taeil loved the feeling of Johnny’s hand in his own, “I will. Goodnight Johnny. Sleep well.”

“Let me know when you made it home safely,” Johnny said sweetly. 

Taeil nodded, giving Johnny a tight hug before, leaving Johnny feeling happier than he had in awhile.


End file.
